Why Never to Let Sailor Moon Near a Gun
by Owlie
Summary: ah...I get to expose my cruel side...don't read if you like Serena...


Another Reason for Gun Control…

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon. If I did, Serena would be dead by now.

This little thing grew out of a manga pic I saw online of Sailor Moon holding a handgun and an IM conversation with Crystal Suranu. This is undoubtedly one of my crueler fics, showing my intense dislike for Serena. And if you're a fan of Sailor Ditz, then stop reading now.

"Hey! Look at this, you guys!" Serena, accompanied by her usual gang of friends, and Darien, rushed forward to pick up the object lying on the sidewalk. The "object" turned out to be a handgun, its dark, polished metal glinting in the afternoon sunlight.

"Serena, don't touch it! It might accidentally go off!" warned Raye. But her warning came too late. Serena picked up the weapon and examined it. 

"Ooh! This is really cool! Now, how does this work?"

Ami was just about to launch into a detailed scientific explanation when a loud bang went off right next to them, shortly followed by an ear-splitting scream. "Oh my God! Serena!" she yelled, instead of her explanation.

Serena knelt on the ground, clutching the upper part of her right arm. "DAAAAARIEN!!" she screamed through her tears. 

Darien, who, up until this time, was rather detached from the whole scene, suddenly snapped back to reality. "Wha?" It was then he noticed Serena on her knees, whimpering in that usual pathetic way of hers. Expecting that it was some minor injury, he shuffled up to her side. "What's wrong, Serena?" It was then that he noticed the blood on her clothes, and then the gun lying on the sidewalk. He put two and two together, and it didn't take him long to figure out that somehow, Serena had managed to shoot herself. He somehow cleared away the cluster of girls from around Serena, and lifted her into his arms. "Okay, I'm going to take her to the hospital," he reassured her frightened retinue. But, to himself, he said "But how am I going to tell them that she shot herself?"

He somehow managed to get to the hospital before she bled to death, and carried her to front desk. 

The receptionist was a fat, unkempt woman in her late fifties, but she looked like she was in her late hundreds. She looked up from her paperwork and looked at Darien, who, by this time, had blood all over the left side of his body. "Yes, hun, what is it?"

Darien cleared his throat. "Um, yeah, this is my future, er, wife, and she seems to have a gunshot wound."

"How'd she get it?"

"She, um, accidentally shot herself."

The receptionist looked straight into his eyes. "Hun, once she's recovered, we're checking her into an institution. Nurse!" Darien was grateful that Serena was pretty much near unconsciousness, because he could have sworn that he felt a look of relief cross his face. The nurses loaded the semi-comatose Serena onto a gurney, and wheeled her into the emergency room. 

Hours dragged by, and, frankly, Darien was starting to worry. At last, the doctor emerged with a grave look on his face. He glanced down at his clipboard and approached Darien. "Are you Darien?"

Darien nodded dumbly. "Well, I've got some bad news for you. Serena- ah-um-has expired."

"So you mean she's dead?"

"In a word, yes." The doctor placed his hand on Darien's shoulder and whispered "I'm sorry. But there was nothing we could do."

"I understand. But how am I going to break this to her friends?"

"I know it's tough. But I'll have to leave you now. Another patient, you know." Without another word, the doctor turned around and strode off.

Numbly, Darien turned and walked down the hall to where the rest of the Sailor Scouts were waiting. Ami was doing her homework, Lita was reading a magazine, and Raye was slouching against the wall. When they saw the look on Darien's face, they immediately ran up to his side, their eyes full of worry.

"Darien, what is it? Is she okay?"

"Um, actually, she's dead."

"WHAT?!"

"Yes," Darien sighed. "It's true…" He looked down at each them, saw that their eyes were brimming with tears, and decided that it was finally time to unleash his true feelings. 

"YES!!! THAT BLONDE DITZ IS DEAD! No more 'Daaaaarien!', no more whining, no more whimpering! YES!!!!"

The Sailor Scouts looked at him, shocked. He was supposed to be her future husband, was he not? So why was he acting this way? Lita finally decided to take command. 

"Go get him, girls!" At this command, all of the late Sailor Scout's friends leapt on Darien like a pack of dogs on a fox, and starting beating him up. 

The receptionist calmly looked at the preposterous scene from behind her desk. She turned to a passing nurse. "Looks like we're going to need another stretcher over here," she remarked before returning to her paperwork.

THE END


End file.
